Top 10 Customer Quotes of all time
10. "My wife is very hesitant to buy anything from France because unless it says 'estate bottled' on the bottle, they're probably shipping in their grapes from Algeria or some place like that."
9. -"South Africa? I didn't know they had wine in South Africa."
-"Yea, duh. Anywhere where there are grapes."
8. "Everything tastes like Chianti."
Top 10 Rules for Bros In Retail Stores
10. If you’re not buying anything, get out.
9. Up to three (3) members of your party are allowed to wear plaid.
8. Do not stand at the register and call your bro asking him whether he wants Tito’s or Svedka.
7. You must use complete names for liquors. No “Goose” or “Ketel” or “vod”.
6. Keep crotch-grabbing to a minimum.
5. Do not ask if we carry Pappy.
4. Actually we do have Pappy. And it's on sale for $1,000,000,000,000,000,000. Bro.
3. Individuals wearing half-zip sweaters, anything Vineyard Vines, or with man buns will be subjected to a mandatory 10% additional Bro Tax.
2. The numbers beneath the bottles are the prices, Dipshit.
1. When you approach the counter, I will place a bottle of Tito's, Jack, and Fireball on the counter. You might not know it yet, but you will choose one of these three items.
Top 10 Italian Wine Label Monikers that Aren't Part of the Name
This will help you weed through the numerous words on a label. Many of these hearken back to Feudal or Medieval European titles. There's no real translation for "winery" in Italian (I have a hunch that word savors in tackiness to the Italians). So many of these words substitute.
10. "Masseria": means "manor"
9. "Azienda Agricola": means "farming agency"
8. "Colline": means "little hills"
7. "Cantina": means "cellar"
6. "Poggio": means "hill"
5. "Feudo": means "fiefdom"
4. "Collio": means "hill
3. "Tenuta": means "holding"
2. "Castello": means "castle"
1. "Fattoria": means "factory"
Top 10 Things That Make Other Wine Blogs "Better" Than Mine
10. Photos bummed off the internet
I take my own photos. Yea, they're not great, but seriously, what do you expect from a cracked iPhone 4? Most of the time I'm halfway into the bottle once I get around to take the pictures, so pardon the lopsidedness. Sure, the internet is full of gorgeous vistas of the Italian countryside, and colorful closeups of juicy, wet grapes hanging off the vines just waiting to be picked. But you can see those images on the sites from which they were originally pirated. My parents took four trips to Italy and I lived there for ten months. I have enough "footage" of the country to be my own graphic designer.
9. Lists of other blogs that the author follows
It's a well-known fact among bloggers that to increase your readership, you just go to all the other blogs and type random comments in random articles like, "I loved reading this article. This is an awesome blog. Check out my review of the same wine at my blog." The Laws of the Universe are consistent; if you ask a million people to do something, a couple of them are bound to do it. I don't follow or even read other blogs, because I'm busy writing my own. Also, it's nearly impossible to create completely original content when you're constantly exposing yourself to other peoples' ideas. After a while, all the blogs start to look and sound the same: the same phrases, the same "humor", even the same wines!
8. Links to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, Reddit, etc. etc.
I know, I know, I know, social media is where it's at. How do I expect to write a successful wine blog without connecting with people on other internet outlets? In my experience, social media does less to expand your network of "friends" (who live hundreds of miles away and whom you'll never meet) than it does to encourage you to waste time staring at pictures of those people you'll never meet, correct their grammar, judge them, and then feel worse about your own life. No, thank you. I'd rather go on a hike.
7. Name dropping every person in the industry you've met
This one stems from the Celebrity Complex. Yea, I met Martin Sheen one time. I guess I could have asked him about his favorite wines and then posted that information on here. Sure, I want to make a name for myself in the wine industry (evennnutallyyyyyy...), but coming from another big name-dropping population (opera), I know that after a while, that habit gets on peoples' nerves and actually discredits your own knowledge and passion for the subject matter.
6. Innocuous reviews that don't offend anyone
Who wants to be offensive? No one. But if you personally don't like a producer's wines, it does neither of you any service to lie and say that you did. "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." This should have worked when I was 5 years old and I told one of my mother's friends that she looked liked a clown because she was morbidly obese. But I'm not 5 anymore, and I've learned to be more diplomatic about the things I say that may be construed as less than charitable. Chances are, if I don't like a wine, it's for some objective reason, a reason that will often raise debates and questions about wine production in general. That's how ideas are spread. Otherwise, I will humbly acknowledge that it's not my style or preference, but I'll try to indicate that some people would probably enjoy drinking it.
5. Re-hashing producers and varietals that have been popular for decades
Do you want me to lie to you and tell you that Silver Oak was worth every one of the one-hundred dollars I spent on it? Or that California is the new Burgundy for Pinot Noir? If you want to be acclimated to the current (and more popular) wine discussions, I recommend Wine Spectator. I can only drink so many overpriced, over-oaked, over-saturated California Cabernets before Clos du Val starts tasting like Ledson, that starts tasting like, you guessed it, Silver Oak.
4. They seem to talk about everything but wine
"I know this is a wine blog, but let me just rant about the World Cup right now..." Or, "Please pardon my uncharacteristic soap box about the US and Syria..." I believe it is the disease of wine bloggers that they assume that their knowledge of and experience with wine extends to other facets of life, such as sports, politics, history, society, and the list goes on. Yes, I have interests other than wine. For your sanity, I do not reference them here.
3. ADS ADS ADS!
No, no, no! Don't do it. Keep wine blogging pure. It's no secret that that's how you make money off blogging. Believe it or not, reading wine reviews doesn't encourage me to register for the Inland Empire's largest Mud Run.
2. Partnerships with wine companies or other wine websites
Hmm, I see you referencing snooth.com an awful lot. Either you really value that website, or....you struck a deal with their webmaster (who is probably your best friend). This discredits your integrity as a blogger. You start to seem so connected that it's no longer about the wine, but more about the notoriety. You've turned a passion into a business.
1. Photos of everyone but the blogger
Look, if you're Shrek, just come out and say it. "Hi everyone, I just want to let you all know that I've been self-conscious about my crooked teeth all my life, which is why I don't have any photos of myself on this blog." People will understand. But that photo you had taken of so-and-so-wine-producer's two gorgeous mid-twenties daughters? Yea, go ahead and put that one up. Sex sells. I guess a picture of you behind your computer in your mother's basement in San Rafael wouldn't be the best for publicity.
Top 10 Wines for Under $10
No one knows cheap wine better than I do (Well, I'm sure someone does...but let's just say I've had a lot of cheap wine in my day.) Most cheap wine is terrible, some is good, and some make you wonder how they get all that good stuff in the bottle for so little.
Menage a Trois
I’m not a
big California Cabernet fan (too much oak), as I’m drawn to gentler, less
muscular expressions of this grape. That’s why Cabs from Washington
and cooler California climates like Santa Barbara , Santa Maria ,
and Monterey
There are
a handful of decent California Zinfandels under $10. Dancing Bull offers the typical spiciness and jamy-ness that we associated with Zin, but the alcohol level isn't astronomically high, like in some other Zins (cough Opolo cough). Other than that, I don't know what else there is to say. All I can remember is that I believe the 2009 was drinking better than the 2010...or maybe the 2010 was drinking better than the 2011...I forget. It's been a while. Rosenblum is probably a close second.
Sangiovese/Cabernet/Merlot
blend. Ok, so it’s not really a Super Tuscan, since it’s made in Umbria Umbria
over Tuscany
Top 10 Things to say about wine when you don’t know what you’re talking about but want to appear knowledgeable
Top 10 Things to Know About Super Tuscans
Top 10 Times to “Move On”
Here are some ways to tell you're in a bad wine shop
10. “Purveyor of Fines Wines” = Purveyor of over-priced wines.
9. A "wine shop" should carry a lot of wine. Watch the amount of other alcohol it sells. To stay in business and keep wine costs down, stores will often sell beer and alcohol. Fine. A modest amount is understandable, but if the vodka section takes up half the store, move on. Chances are they're marketing more to the cheap beer- and liquor-guzzling fraternties in the area than astute wine drinkers.
8. All wines stores should have a good selection of wine around $10, and even more in the $15-20 range. A vast majority of their business should be customers looking for something to drink within a brief period of time, not Robert Parker scouting out a highly-collectable 50-year-oldBordeaux
7. Does the wine store resemble an art gallery, complete with expensive wood and trendy lighting, with bottles spaced several feet away from each other and up to the ceiling? Do you feel compelled to ask the attendant when the next tour of the Sistene Chapel is? Move on. I'm surprised these places don't charge entrance fees.
6. Wine stores should be equipped with all types of common wine at all price ranges. This is the mark of a competent buyer. If you ask the attendant for a drinkableBordeaux
5. If wine merchants don’t do the job of corporate CEOs, why should they dress like them? Khakis and a polo are ideal to look the part but also to be able to be comfortable and handle the wine bins with ease. If the attendant is over-dressed, I tend to think of it as a red flag.
4. Wine attendants should be able to talk to you about wine at whatever level of knowledge or training—the best ones are enthusiastic to do so. If you notice signs of defensiveness, haughtiness, or intimidation, move on.
3. Wines should be grouped together according to country, region, varietal, and price, in that order. If you see a $6 California Sauvignon Blanc next to a $75 Brunello, move on.
2. A good wine store should have new inventory every week, with a complete rotation every six to eight weeks or so. If the Chianti you saw last year is still there now, move on.
1. Dust is never good. It either means that the store hasn’t sold the bottle in a while, that the inventory has stayed the same, or that the merchant hasn’t taken the care to keep them clean, all of which are signs to........move on!
10. "My wife is very hesitant to buy anything from France because unless it says 'estate bottled' on the bottle, they're probably shipping in their grapes from Algeria or some place like that."
9. -"South Africa? I didn't know they had wine in South Africa."
-"Yea, duh. Anywhere where there are grapes."
8. "Everything tastes like Chianti."
Top 10 Rules for Bros In Retail Stores
10. If you’re not buying anything, get out.
9. Up to three (3) members of your party are allowed to wear plaid.
8. Do not stand at the register and call your bro asking him whether he wants Tito’s or Svedka.
7. You must use complete names for liquors. No “Goose” or “Ketel” or “vod”.
6. Keep crotch-grabbing to a minimum.
5. Do not ask if we carry Pappy.
4. Actually we do have Pappy. And it's on sale for $1,000,000,000,000,000,000. Bro.
3. Individuals wearing half-zip sweaters, anything Vineyard Vines, or with man buns will be subjected to a mandatory 10% additional Bro Tax.
2. The numbers beneath the bottles are the prices, Dipshit.
1. When you approach the counter, I will place a bottle of Tito's, Jack, and Fireball on the counter. You might not know it yet, but you will choose one of these three items.
Top 10 Italian Wine Label Monikers that Aren't Part of the Name
This will help you weed through the numerous words on a label. Many of these hearken back to Feudal or Medieval European titles. There's no real translation for "winery" in Italian (I have a hunch that word savors in tackiness to the Italians). So many of these words substitute.
10. "Masseria": means "manor"
9. "Azienda Agricola": means "farming agency"
8. "Colline": means "little hills"
7. "Cantina": means "cellar"
6. "Poggio": means "hill"
5. "Feudo": means "fiefdom"
4. "Collio": means "hill
3. "Tenuta": means "holding"
2. "Castello": means "castle"
1. "Fattoria": means "factory"
Top 10 Things That Make Other Wine Blogs "Better" Than Mine
10. Photos bummed off the internet
I take my own photos. Yea, they're not great, but seriously, what do you expect from a cracked iPhone 4? Most of the time I'm halfway into the bottle once I get around to take the pictures, so pardon the lopsidedness. Sure, the internet is full of gorgeous vistas of the Italian countryside, and colorful closeups of juicy, wet grapes hanging off the vines just waiting to be picked. But you can see those images on the sites from which they were originally pirated. My parents took four trips to Italy and I lived there for ten months. I have enough "footage" of the country to be my own graphic designer.
9. Lists of other blogs that the author follows
It's a well-known fact among bloggers that to increase your readership, you just go to all the other blogs and type random comments in random articles like, "I loved reading this article. This is an awesome blog. Check out my review of the same wine at my blog." The Laws of the Universe are consistent; if you ask a million people to do something, a couple of them are bound to do it. I don't follow or even read other blogs, because I'm busy writing my own. Also, it's nearly impossible to create completely original content when you're constantly exposing yourself to other peoples' ideas. After a while, all the blogs start to look and sound the same: the same phrases, the same "humor", even the same wines!
8. Links to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, Reddit, etc. etc.
I know, I know, I know, social media is where it's at. How do I expect to write a successful wine blog without connecting with people on other internet outlets? In my experience, social media does less to expand your network of "friends" (who live hundreds of miles away and whom you'll never meet) than it does to encourage you to waste time staring at pictures of those people you'll never meet, correct their grammar, judge them, and then feel worse about your own life. No, thank you. I'd rather go on a hike.
7. Name dropping every person in the industry you've met
This one stems from the Celebrity Complex. Yea, I met Martin Sheen one time. I guess I could have asked him about his favorite wines and then posted that information on here. Sure, I want to make a name for myself in the wine industry (evennnutallyyyyyy...), but coming from another big name-dropping population (opera), I know that after a while, that habit gets on peoples' nerves and actually discredits your own knowledge and passion for the subject matter.
6. Innocuous reviews that don't offend anyone
Who wants to be offensive? No one. But if you personally don't like a producer's wines, it does neither of you any service to lie and say that you did. "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." This should have worked when I was 5 years old and I told one of my mother's friends that she looked liked a clown because she was morbidly obese. But I'm not 5 anymore, and I've learned to be more diplomatic about the things I say that may be construed as less than charitable. Chances are, if I don't like a wine, it's for some objective reason, a reason that will often raise debates and questions about wine production in general. That's how ideas are spread. Otherwise, I will humbly acknowledge that it's not my style or preference, but I'll try to indicate that some people would probably enjoy drinking it.
5. Re-hashing producers and varietals that have been popular for decades
Do you want me to lie to you and tell you that Silver Oak was worth every one of the one-hundred dollars I spent on it? Or that California is the new Burgundy for Pinot Noir? If you want to be acclimated to the current (and more popular) wine discussions, I recommend Wine Spectator. I can only drink so many overpriced, over-oaked, over-saturated California Cabernets before Clos du Val starts tasting like Ledson, that starts tasting like, you guessed it, Silver Oak.
4. They seem to talk about everything but wine
"I know this is a wine blog, but let me just rant about the World Cup right now..." Or, "Please pardon my uncharacteristic soap box about the US and Syria..." I believe it is the disease of wine bloggers that they assume that their knowledge of and experience with wine extends to other facets of life, such as sports, politics, history, society, and the list goes on. Yes, I have interests other than wine. For your sanity, I do not reference them here.
3. ADS ADS ADS!
No, no, no! Don't do it. Keep wine blogging pure. It's no secret that that's how you make money off blogging. Believe it or not, reading wine reviews doesn't encourage me to register for the Inland Empire's largest Mud Run.
2. Partnerships with wine companies or other wine websites
Hmm, I see you referencing snooth.com an awful lot. Either you really value that website, or....you struck a deal with their webmaster (who is probably your best friend). This discredits your integrity as a blogger. You start to seem so connected that it's no longer about the wine, but more about the notoriety. You've turned a passion into a business.
1. Photos of everyone but the blogger
Look, if you're Shrek, just come out and say it. "Hi everyone, I just want to let you all know that I've been self-conscious about my crooked teeth all my life, which is why I don't have any photos of myself on this blog." People will understand. But that photo you had taken of so-and-so-wine-producer's two gorgeous mid-twenties daughters? Yea, go ahead and put that one up. Sex sells. I guess a picture of you behind your computer in your mother's basement in San Rafael wouldn't be the best for publicity.
Top 10 Wines for Under $10
No one knows cheap wine better than I do (Well, I'm sure someone does...but let's just say I've had a lot of cheap wine in my day.) Most cheap wine is terrible, some is good, and some make you wonder how they get all that good stuff in the bottle for so little.
What can one
expect from a wine for under $10? For me at least, the more important aspect of
a wine under $10 is that it is technically
sound. This isn’t a term used often (at least not often enough in my
opinion) in wine lingo, but what it means basically is that the various
components of the wine—namely, alcohol, sugar, tannin, and acid—are all
balanced with each other, creating a balanced (not “slanted”) wine.
The other
element is that clean and careful winemaking techniques have been adhered to so
that the wine does not have any obvious flaws. Lapses in winemaking practices
would include using dirty or old barrels, neglecting oxygen levels, and
practicing poor storage practices, among other things. These are basics for
successful wine-making, but you need to be particularly vigilant with wines in
the lower price range. Robert Mondavi, what with his decades-old reputation for
making technically sound wine, wouldn’t put a flawed wine on the market, but a
less scrupulous wine maker with less concern for reputation and more concern
for making money probably would.
For my
palate, no matter how complex the flavor profile, no matter how luscious the
fruit, no matter how long the finish…if the wine is off-balance or flawed in
any way, I’m out. A lot of wines from California
This is
mostly why I gravitate to European wines. For the $10 price point, they may be
simple, but at least they’re free of glaring flaws. When in doubt (and with
inexpensive wine, there’s much to be doubtful of), trust the people who have
been doing this stuff for four-hundred years, right?
There are
TONS of great wines out there for under $10. Many, however, are foreign imports
that can only be purchased at large wine warehouse-type stores or specialty
stores, or are “special finds” at off-the-beaten-path corner markets. As such,
these wines wouldn’t be accessible to a large population all over the country.
For this reason, the following wines I’ve chosen not only for their quality,
but also for their accessibility. Unless otherwise noted, all these wines can
be located at Vons/ Safeway/ Pavilions, Ralphs’/Kroger, Trader Joe’s, Costco,
Total Wine, Bevmo, and most other big-name supermarkets all around the country,
I hope. I’ve selected a list that represents a wide variety of varietal and
style diversity, so there should be something for everyone here. All of these
wines represent a great introduction to the flavor profiles of each grape or
blend of grapes.
1. Bordeaux
Mouton Cadet (Rothschild)
This is
the entry-level offering of illustrious winemaker Baron
Philippe de Rothschild (Jews making wine in France Bordeaux
2. California
Menage a Trois
Don’t talk
shit. This is a great, inexpensive bottle of wine EVERY TIME. It’s consistency
in quality is its most prized attribute. The (cough) “household of three” is
Zinfandel, Merlot, and Cabernet…your typical Meritage blend. They never give it
a vintage year, so that gives them the freedom to mix whatever wines in
whatever proportions from whatever year they want—and it’s always a win-win (or
should I say, wine-wine!) for both producer and consumer. Quite fruit-forward
but not noxiously sweet, it has surprising complexity for its price point. And
SO drinkable. You can get it as low as $7. This is what I always reach for when
it comes to an affordable everyday (ahem everynight) wine.
3.
Cabernet
14 Hands Cabernet—Columbia
Valley
I’m not a
big California Cabernet fan (too much oak), as I’m drawn to gentler, less
muscular expressions of this grape. That’s why Cabs from
4. CA
Pinot Noir
Castle Rock—Mendocino
Ok, not a
California Pinot Noir drinker here (can you say ACID BOMB? Please read my
article on the subject), but I’ll do my best. For $10, Castle Rock isn’t bad… just make sure to get the Mendocino
appellation, because they also sell Central
Coast and Monterey
5. CA
Syrah
Hahn Syrah
Where:
Bevmo, Total Wine
A really,
really great wine! It usually fetches for $13-$15 (Sorry, for those of you with
only $9.99 in your bank account…I’ve been there), but it’s very much worth the
extra couple bucks. Closer in quality to a $20 bottle of Syrah. Great vanilla,
kind of a creamy quality to it, excellent structure, full-bodied, so much more
sensual than Cabernet. I’ve made love to many bottles of this. Don’t tell
anyone I said this, but Yellowtail Shiraz is also pretty drinkable for, like,
$6. It’s the only wine from them I’d touch with a 10-foot pole, but it’s pretty
good. It’s like drinking an alcoholic Jolly Rancher.
6. CA
Zinfandel
Dancing
Bull
There are
a handful of decent California Zinfandels under $10. Dancing Bull offers the typical spiciness and jamy-ness that we associated with Zin, but the alcohol level isn't astronomically high, like in some other Zins (cough Opolo cough). Other than that, I don't know what else there is to say. All I can remember is that I believe the 2009 was drinking better than the 2010...or maybe the 2010 was drinking better than the 2011...I forget. It's been a while. Rosenblum is probably a close second.
7. Super
Tuscan
Falesco
Vitiano
Sangiovese/Cabernet/Merlot
blend. Ok, so it’s not really a Super Tuscan, since it’s made in
8. Grenache
El Burro
“Kickass” Garnacha
This is a
Spanish Garnacha (synonymous with Grenache). More traditionally, Garnacha was
almost always blended with Tempranillo in wines from Rioja or Syrah in the
wines of Cote du Rhone, but more recently, it’s been bottled by itself (either
in Spain or California—the French never bottle Grenache alone). This is a great
bottle for $8 at Fresh and Easy. There’s a lot of fruit going on, but a little heat
on the way down (which I’ve learned I’m a lot more sensitive to than most other
drinkers). Definitely more full-bodied than other Garnachas, which can be quite
ethereal. But full of the ripe, fresh red fruit that is typical of Grenache. Evodia
is also a nice $9 Garnacha.
9. Rioja
Boy, this
is a tough one. I’ve had so many decent
Riojas under $10, and so many great
Riojas in the $10-20 range, but very few of them stick out in my mind as
particularly memorable. That’s mainly because there are so many producers of
affordable Rioja out there, and many of them under $20 (at least for my palate)
are indistinguishable from each other. I put down the Caceres
10. Beaujolais
George
Duboeuf
This along
with Louis Jadot are the two most recognizable and, as far as I’m concerned,
perfectly nice inexpensive Beajolais. Although admittedly, I’ve never had an
expensive one. I don’t think they fetch for much over $30 anyway. You can
almost always find the Duboeuf for under $10, and if you’re lucky, the Jadot
will go for just a little above that. A great wine to serve slightly chilled
and share with friends over a nice spinach salad (I can’t drink more than a
couple glasses of it…it’s too puckery for me).
Top 10 Things to say about wine when you don’t know what you’re talking about but want to appear knowledgeable
10. “This is opening up quite nicely!”
9. “My, look at those legs!”
8. “I must admit, I haven’t researched this vintage.”
7. “Not ideal stemware, but I’ll cope “
6. “Is that freshly-picked strawberry I taste, or cigar smoke?”
5. “Drinking this Shiraz is like running through a garden of red berries!”
4. “I remember James Suckling saying something about this in one of his reviews.”
3.” I think they’ve started to grow this stuff in France now, too.”
2. “Oh, it’s from Napa. ‘And the wine is bottled poetry…’ “
1. “This isn’t bad. I usually drink the Vintner’s Cuvee Grand Select Reserve, though.”
And a bonus: "This would taste better in a Riedel".
And a bonus: "This would taste better in a Riedel".
Top 10 Things to Know About Super Tuscans
Learn more about this often illusive designation.
10. Designation can only be given to wines produced in Tuscany. Otherwise, they would be called Sangiovese blends or Tuscan “style” wines.
9. “Super” for a variety of reasons: because they originated as existing outside the traditional Chianti DOCG, often go for very high prices, and many have found them to be superior to their Chianti counterparts
8. Tend to be strongly Sangiovese-based (often more than 60%) blended with “international” varietals such as Cabernet, Merlot, or Syrah (rarely blended with other Italian varietals)
7. Can be thought of as a Chianti-meets-Bordeaux
6. Almost all Sangiovese-based California wines are made in this style, mainly because Chianti blend varietals such as Malvasia Bianca and Canaiolo are almost never grown in California and because many believe that the terrain-soil-production combination of Chianti cannot be duplicated anywhere else in the world. Californian vintners have had great success with Cabernet and Merlot and have enthusiastically blended it with Sangiovese, but perhaps find it a losing battle trying to bring these lesser-known Italian varietals to the New World.
5. Unlike Chiantis, these bottles will often indicate the specific varietal blend (ie 60% Sangiovese, 30% Merlot, 20% Cabernet)
4. If interested, look for wines from the Maremma and Bolgheri sub-regions. They will often have “Toscana” after their names to remind buyers of the region
3. Have a recent reputation of being overpriced or of poor QPR because many vineyards have jumped on the bandwagon just to get a cut of the profits; so, buy with caution!
2. More often than not they will be labeled still as IGT wines, although some producers have managed to fit them into somewhat newly modified DOG regulations. I imagine even some might still go by the Vino da Tavola label.
1. In the 1990s they demanded something of a cult following. This trend has since tapered.
Top 10 Times to “Move On”
Here are some ways to tell you're in a bad wine shop
10. “Purveyor of Fines Wines” = Purveyor of over-priced wines.
9. A "wine shop" should carry a lot of wine. Watch the amount of other alcohol it sells. To stay in business and keep wine costs down, stores will often sell beer and alcohol. Fine. A modest amount is understandable, but if the vodka section takes up half the store, move on. Chances are they're marketing more to the cheap beer- and liquor-guzzling fraternties in the area than astute wine drinkers.
8. All wines stores should have a good selection of wine around $10, and even more in the $15-20 range. A vast majority of their business should be customers looking for something to drink within a brief period of time, not Robert Parker scouting out a highly-collectable 50-year-old
7. Does the wine store resemble an art gallery, complete with expensive wood and trendy lighting, with bottles spaced several feet away from each other and up to the ceiling? Do you feel compelled to ask the attendant when the next tour of the Sistene Chapel is? Move on. I'm surprised these places don't charge entrance fees.
6. Wine stores should be equipped with all types of common wine at all price ranges. This is the mark of a competent buyer. If you ask the attendant for a drinkable
5. If wine merchants don’t do the job of corporate CEOs, why should they dress like them? Khakis and a polo are ideal to look the part but also to be able to be comfortable and handle the wine bins with ease. If the attendant is over-dressed, I tend to think of it as a red flag.
4. Wine attendants should be able to talk to you about wine at whatever level of knowledge or training—the best ones are enthusiastic to do so. If you notice signs of defensiveness, haughtiness, or intimidation, move on.
3. Wines should be grouped together according to country, region, varietal, and price, in that order. If you see a $6 California Sauvignon Blanc next to a $75 Brunello, move on.
2. A good wine store should have new inventory every week, with a complete rotation every six to eight weeks or so. If the Chianti you saw last year is still there now, move on.
1. Dust is never good. It either means that the store hasn’t sold the bottle in a while, that the inventory has stayed the same, or that the merchant hasn’t taken the care to keep them clean, all of which are signs to........move on!
